come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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