Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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