You work out of a Hotel?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
