You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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