i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
