My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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