their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
