Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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