Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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