Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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