I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
