she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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