i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
