were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
40s are totally the cure
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i think i just lost a toe
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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