I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
