quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
