Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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