Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize