I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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