its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
