he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
