Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
