dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
