I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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