I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
