I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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