Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
