sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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