Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
