Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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