Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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