we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
