Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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