Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
