just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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