how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize