Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
