No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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