You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I need moral support for this bender
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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