I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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