The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
im on a boat
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