as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
