Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
