why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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