Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
