Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
How does it feel to date your dad?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
