**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
