he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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