the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize