I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
