Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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