The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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