Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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