everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
