Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
