No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize