Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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