Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She bit a glass in half.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
