bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize