and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
