I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
