just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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