Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
