Screwed.edu
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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