Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
