I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
