Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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