how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
