After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
