The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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