I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the day after is always just damage control
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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