idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
