I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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